Recently I've been posting on this blog less frequently than before. There are times that I just do not have such a strong opinion that is somehow relevant to the Catholic Mass readings of the day. I know that during those dry spells I could just go rant about whatever is on my mind with no regard to what the readings of the day happen to be. However, those readings keep me focused. If I just ranted about whatever was on my mind on a particular day, my blog would be no different from the seemingly infinite and obscure blogs that random people put up to make themselves feel like they're noticed. That was never the purpose of my blog.
As I said before on video during this most recent Lent, I've been trying to reach out to those who may have become separated from God as well as those who might have it in them to seek God and come into the Church for the first time. My purpose was to meet them halfway by relating to them on a very real and human level. I am not an intellectual or a "brainiac" nor do I have any desire to be. If someone had tried to reach out to me back in the day with all the fancy talk, I would have been totally turned off by it. On the other hand, if someone had tried to reach out to me by relating to my experiences, by trying to understand me rather than categorize me, then they would have been on to something. As it turned out, I found God by unexpectedly stumbling upon Him at a time in my life when I would have seemed the least likely to be receptive, go figure.
This blog began many years later at the beginning of Advent of 2011. Of course, those of you who have been Facebook friends of mine for more than 2 years might remember my daily videos in Lent of 2011. I had wanted to post those videos on YouTube to reach a larger audience but came across some technical difficulties and thus ended up just posting them directly on Facebook. Thankfully, by the time Advent came around later that year, I had it figured out and videos got posted on YouTube and the links for those videos got posted to this blog (and to Facebook). During those times, I had a lot to say and a lot to write. I was a man on a mission! But I was also a hurt child in need of healing and all that speaking and writing gave me what I needed. I liked my own entries much more than anything I heard or read on other Catholic blogs or at retreats, discussion groups, speeches, etc. Of course I would - it's not possible for other people to relate to me as well as I relate to me!
More recently, however, I have not been feeling it as much. My faith itself has been rock solid but my passion for this blog has waned a bit. It's not a bad thing - I guess I'm just not as needy as I used to be. A period of 1.5 to 2 years is a long time and a lot can happen, a lot can change. The state of mind I was in back then was vastly different from where it is now. I have come to the point where I would rather hear what others have to say or read what others have to write than listen to or read one of my most recent entries. Some of my older entries were great and still rule the roost in my opinion but I'm not producing entries like that now. I never want to "fake it" just for the sake of putting another entry out. For the last 1.5 to 2 years, this has been my calling. Maybe it's just not my calling anymore - and I'm perfectly okay with that. There are, after all, other ways to live out one's faith. Now if I'm really "feeling it," I'll make another entry at an appropriate time, but I'm not making any promises.
Acts of the Apostles 2: 1-11
