Reflections on the Water: December 2012

When a year draws to a close, it is natural for people to look back upon the events that took place, among other things. It's almost as if we want to define what the past year was about and how it compares to earlier years. After all, each year does seem to have a different character to it, whether in our own individual lives or in the life of the general population. There are milestones, triumphs, setbacks, unique occurrences, changing relationships, and, of course, regrets.

There are often regrets. We wish we had done things differently at a moment in time in the past. We wish we had made a quicker decision, or we wish we had been less impulsive. We wish we had been more confident and relaxed, or we wish we had been more careful and redundant. We wish we had spoken up when confronted, or we wish we had kept silent and stayed out of trouble. We find it hard to forgive ourselves because we don't like the way things worked out or we don't like the way we feel about ourselves as a result of certain interactions with other people. Sometimes, there's just no way to predict the future but it's still hard to accept when things don't work out or we feel like we mishandled a situation. But oftentimes we could have predicted these kinds of outcomes with reasonable accuracy yet we still did the wrong thing (or just failed to do the right thing) because of other factors that went into play. These are the times when it is especially difficult to forgive ourselves.

It is regarding these regrets that we need to be mindful that it's premature to declare anything a loss. If things are meant to work out in the end or if we're eventually meant to have peace of mind regarding our interactions with other people, that does not mean things will necessarily look too good between the beginning and the end. Think of life, or a period of time in your life, as being like surgery. The patient's body is not looking too great when the first cut is made - and then it proceeds to look even worse soon afterward. Even just before surgery is over, the patient is in no condition to wake up and start walking around and wandering about - in other words, still looking pretty bad. It is not until the last cut is closed up that the patient looks all right again. As a matter of fact, the patient is now in much better shape than they ever would have been had they never gone through that ugly stage known as surgery.

If we can just trust that things will work out eventually or that we will find peace of mind eventually, whenever that may be, then we can live without so much regret. Everything happens for a reason, even things that we think are completely in our control - yes, those avoidable mistakes that are so hard to swallow. That difficult time in the middle may very well allow things to sort themselves even better than we ever would have expected or even hoped for.

Luke 2: 41-52