Sunday, September 30, 2012
To do what ought to be done...
My Fraternity, Phi Delta Theta, was founded in December of 1848 during the semester break at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio by six close friends. One of them, Robert Morrison, is known to have said "to do what ought to be done, but would not have been done had I not done it, I thought to be my duty." What's important is what needs to get done more so than who does it.
There might be a need for someone to fill a specific position on the Chapter Advisory Board for a local Phi Delt Chapter. There might be a need for a local Phi Delt Alumni Club to get started. It is indeed a very good thing if at least one person has the desire to step in to address at least one of these needs. Although I would feel honored to be the one who is responsible for filling a specific CAB position or for starting a local Alumni Club, I would not feel slighted if someone else were to address one or more of those needs. What's important is that these things get done.
As an undergraduate it was difficult to think like that. Each individual wants to make a name for himself. Each individual wants to leave a legacy of great influence. Most of us had not yet established ourselves in life yet. So if someone else were to address a certain need by taking a key office or committee position, the person left behind may feel slighted. At that age it was fairly common to lack a certain level of maturity. But after time passes by we realize that it really was needless to become disappointed about someone else getting to serve in a certain capacity rather than us. What's important is that things got done. And in the end, we are all Brothers working together.
Numbers 11: 25-29
Mark 9: 38-43, 45, 47-48
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The High you just can't chase
Have you ever tried to catch, or get a good photograph of, a butterfly? Well, it doesn't take much to catch one. All you have to do is sit still and wait. There's a pretty reasonable chance that it will land close to you or in a place where it's easy to see. However, if you were to try to pursue it, you would have a more difficult time catching it or getting that perfect shot. But people are not naturally inclined to sit and wait because we want to have control of our destinies. We do not want to take a chance that sitting and waiting could result in the butterfly landing in the wrong spot for us because we lack patience and thus want to take matters into our own hands.
We've all heard about people who look for love in all the wrong places. Everyone has their own story but there's usually some emotional pain they're erasing or some feeling of validation they are seeking. They seek sexual healing, except that it's not healing. Promiscuity ensues because they keep chasing that happiness that never seems to get any closer. They're never satisfied.
Most people are probably also aware of how prevalent drug use is in our society. Let's start with marijuana, a.k.a. "pot," "weed," "the reefer." We like to think that it's not addictive or harmful and that it will take the edge off our misery if we're feeling troubled. Well, it does take the edge off our misery but the more we use it the less effective it becomes. I had a few friends who used to "blaze" a few times per week but then it became a daily ritual. Eventually, they were blazing multiple times per day not even to get high anymore but just to feel normal so as to avoid feeling too depressed. If this is how it is with a "less harmful" drug like marijuana, it would very likely be even worse with a more serious drug. There is a reason why getting high is often referred to as "chasing." One never quite gets where they're trying to go. They're chasing a high that they had once before but just can't seem to reach again.
You can't achieve happiness by "trying too hard." It is not something that you can chase. It is something that will come to you if you allow it to. Just like a butterfly, sometimes it will come to you, sometimes it won't. You just have to be patient. Now that does not mean sit around and do nothing. Lying down in bed all day or sitting on your couch watching television all day or aimlessly surfing the internet all day will accomplish nothing and could even cause you to feel more depressed. But if you proceed through life as you normally would, assuming you stay reasonably active, and keep an open mind, open heart, and open eyes, you can find happiness. Or rather, it can find you.
James 3:16 - 4:3
Mark 9: 30-37
We've all heard about people who look for love in all the wrong places. Everyone has their own story but there's usually some emotional pain they're erasing or some feeling of validation they are seeking. They seek sexual healing, except that it's not healing. Promiscuity ensues because they keep chasing that happiness that never seems to get any closer. They're never satisfied.
Most people are probably also aware of how prevalent drug use is in our society. Let's start with marijuana, a.k.a. "pot," "weed," "the reefer." We like to think that it's not addictive or harmful and that it will take the edge off our misery if we're feeling troubled. Well, it does take the edge off our misery but the more we use it the less effective it becomes. I had a few friends who used to "blaze" a few times per week but then it became a daily ritual. Eventually, they were blazing multiple times per day not even to get high anymore but just to feel normal so as to avoid feeling too depressed. If this is how it is with a "less harmful" drug like marijuana, it would very likely be even worse with a more serious drug. There is a reason why getting high is often referred to as "chasing." One never quite gets where they're trying to go. They're chasing a high that they had once before but just can't seem to reach again.
You can't achieve happiness by "trying too hard." It is not something that you can chase. It is something that will come to you if you allow it to. Just like a butterfly, sometimes it will come to you, sometimes it won't. You just have to be patient. Now that does not mean sit around and do nothing. Lying down in bed all day or sitting on your couch watching television all day or aimlessly surfing the internet all day will accomplish nothing and could even cause you to feel more depressed. But if you proceed through life as you normally would, assuming you stay reasonably active, and keep an open mind, open heart, and open eyes, you can find happiness. Or rather, it can find you.
James 3:16 - 4:3
Mark 9: 30-37
Sunday, September 16, 2012
The moment that you want is coming if you give it time
In June of 2010 I went hiking for the first time in more than a year. My desire to recover properly from anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) reconstruction in one of my knees prevented me from hiking during the summer of 2009. Although this first post-surgery hike was a short hike, ascending only 1800 vertical feet (550m) on a very heavily climbed mountain in southwestern New Hampshire, I found that my ACL's recovery was more than adequate for climbing on steep and uneven terrain. So I went on a few more hiking trips that summer.
One of my goals for a long time had been to summit both North and South Twin Mountain. Several years ago, I often stayed overnight at a bunkhouse near the village of Twin Mountain. This village was a great location in the winter if you wanted to ski at either Cannon Mountain (Olympic Champion ski racer Bode Miller's true home ski mountain) or Bretton Woods (a mountain Bode Miller did adverts for at some point, claiming it was his home ski mountain). It was a great location in the summer if you wanted to hike anywhere in the White Mountains from Kinsman Ridge to Mount Washington and the southern Presidential Range. The far northern, southern, and eastern bits of the White Mountains may not have been all that convenient from this spot but it covered the core of the White Mountains quite well. Although the actual physical appearance of the village itself may seem a bit fake and overly commercial (it's understandably a touristy place), Twin Mountain's location amongst the mountains and valleys is exquisite!
The view to the east is a substantial bit of the Presidential Range. The view to the south is a looming monolith consisting of the village's namesakes - North Twin Mountain and South Twin Mountain - and these are much closer than the Presidential Range. Having already taken care of some standard destination summits such as select mountains from the Presidential Range and the Franconia Ridge as well as Mount Moosilauke, my attention was pretty firmly fixed on the Twin Mountains after it was clear to me that I was ready to hike once again, this time with a reconstructed ACL.
The standard way to the summit of the taller Twin, South Twin Mountain, was via the Gale River Trail. It would miss North Twin Mountain and I was going to have none of that! However, adding North Twin Mountain to this route would add another 750 vertical feet (230m) to a hike that was already going to climb 3400 vertical feet (1040m). During this summer I made it a point to gradually increase the amount of vertical from one hike to the next to see how my knee would handle it. I did not deem it prudent to just jump from my previous 2700 foot (820m) hike up Mount Chocorua to a 4150 foot (1260m) hike here.
So I chose instead to go up South Twin via North Twin. The distance hiked would be similar to the Galehead route but this time it would include North Twin and I wanted to do both Twins. This looked like a reasonably short hike on the map because it only ascended 2950 feet (900m) to get to North Twin and the ridge between North and South Twin did not look that daunting. So I made up my mind to do this one next. But upon closer examination, I found that climbing 450 feet (140m) up South Twin and then 300 feet (90m) to reascend North Twin on the return trip would make this a 3700 foot (1130m) hike. Each segment on its own did not look like much but they have a way of adding up. I decided to do it anyway so I did.
After having climbed 3400 feet (1040m) to get to the top of South Twin I felt really good. Looking down and to the west I could see Galehead Mountain less than a mile away. It was so close that I could clearly see the details of the Galehead Hut. This made it very tempting to just go down the west side and bag another 4000 foot (1220m) summit. Looking to the south, the Bonds (Mount Guyot, West Bond, Mount Bond, Bondcliff) did not appear very far away even though they are in the core of the Pemigewasset Wilderness and are some of the most remote summits amongst all of the White Mountains. The ridges appeared to undulate very gently between South Twin and the Bonds. This made it tempting to just push further and bag an additional four (4) 4000-footers.
So I looked at the map and guidebook to assess the situation. Going to the summit of Galehead would turn my 11.2 mile (18.0 km), 3700 foot (1130m) hike into a 13.8 mile (22.2 km), 5150 foot (1570m) hike. If I were to choose instead to continue south to the Bonds, my hike would be 21.2 miles (34.1 km) and 6250 vertical feet (1900m). Even 3700 vertical feet (1130m) was already pushing the upper limit of what I was comfortable doing on this particular hike so I elected to stick with the old plan and just head back down now that I reached the summits I had intended to reach.
It has been 2 years since I had elected not to go beyond South Twin Mountain and, seeing how quickly my hiking season is coming to an end due to other travels, that wait will likely become 3 years before I get to those mountains that seemed so tantalizingly close on that hike. Looking back, I realize that I very possibly could have pulled off one of those hiking trip extensions. Since then I had gone on some bigger hikes than the Twins, including one where I covered approximately 18 miles (29 km) and climbed approximately 6900 vertical feet (2100m) in a single day (it was not originally planned that way, in case you were wondering). My knee did not bother me on any of them.
But hindsight is always 20/20 and nobody can predict the future. Nevertheless I do sometimes feel regret about playing it exceedingly safe that day, mostly because I wonder how it could take so long to get to something that I had come so close to getting to earlier. This is merely an example of the limitations of my humanity. We humans are not known for being patient. We want instant results. When things don't seem to go according to plan or when they appear delayed we assume that something has gone dreadfully wrong.
As it turns out, the Bonds could easily be done in a 2-day backpacking trip. A 3-day weekend would not be necessary. Even if it does not happen this year, it could very easily happen next year. If one were to approach from the north via the Gale River Trail, Galehead Mountain could easily be taken care of as well.
Let's follow this scenario. I could drive up from work on Friday evening to the Gail River Trailhead and sleep in my car there (sadly, the bunkhouse I used to stay at several years ago is no longer in operation). On Saturday morning I could head up the Gale River Trail and make my way to South Twin and then Mount Guyot. If I'm doing pretty well on time at that point I could head over to Zealand Mountain to bag another 4000-footer and then back to Guyot to continue on my way. At the Guyot Campsite I could set up camp. If it's still nice and early and if I'm still feeling pretty good I could continue south and summit West Bond, Mount Bond, and Bondcliff. That would be an excellent day of hiking, complete with some quality time spent in the Pemigewasset Wilderness!
If I don't get to either Zealand or to the Bonds on Saturday, or if I miss all 4 of those summits, I could start with the Bonds on Sunday morning instead. Zealand would be an on-the-spot decision, if it comes down to that, on the way back while on the summit of Guyot. Continuing north from Guyot I would go over south Twin again on the way to the Galehead Hut. From there I would do a quick up-and-back to reach the summit of Galehead Mountain and then I would continue west from the Galehead Hut on the Garfield Ridge Trail. When I get to the top of the Gale River Trail again I could see how I'm doing on time and how I'm feeling. If things are going really well I could continue west to Mount Garfield, then head down the Garfield Trail to its trailhead and then walk a little over a mile (~2 km) on the loop road to the Gale River Trailhead where my car would be parked. From there I would make my way down to Boston for a Sunday evening Mass.
In addition to South Twin, which I've already summitted, I would also get at least 5 additional 4000-footers. Incidentally they would be all 5 summits that I had considered when standing on the South Twin summit 2 years ago - Zealand, Guyot, West Bond, Bond, Bondcliff - and I would get them all on the same trip! If things go really well I might even be able to add another 2 to that list - Zealand and Garfield - making a total of seven (7) 4000-footers in addition to South Twin which I had already summitted earlier. Although it may not always seem that way, things do have a way of working out. And not only do they have a way of working out, but they have a way of working out quite beautifully.
Mark 8: 27-35
One of my goals for a long time had been to summit both North and South Twin Mountain. Several years ago, I often stayed overnight at a bunkhouse near the village of Twin Mountain. This village was a great location in the winter if you wanted to ski at either Cannon Mountain (Olympic Champion ski racer Bode Miller's true home ski mountain) or Bretton Woods (a mountain Bode Miller did adverts for at some point, claiming it was his home ski mountain). It was a great location in the summer if you wanted to hike anywhere in the White Mountains from Kinsman Ridge to Mount Washington and the southern Presidential Range. The far northern, southern, and eastern bits of the White Mountains may not have been all that convenient from this spot but it covered the core of the White Mountains quite well. Although the actual physical appearance of the village itself may seem a bit fake and overly commercial (it's understandably a touristy place), Twin Mountain's location amongst the mountains and valleys is exquisite!
The view to the east is a substantial bit of the Presidential Range. The view to the south is a looming monolith consisting of the village's namesakes - North Twin Mountain and South Twin Mountain - and these are much closer than the Presidential Range. Having already taken care of some standard destination summits such as select mountains from the Presidential Range and the Franconia Ridge as well as Mount Moosilauke, my attention was pretty firmly fixed on the Twin Mountains after it was clear to me that I was ready to hike once again, this time with a reconstructed ACL.
The standard way to the summit of the taller Twin, South Twin Mountain, was via the Gale River Trail. It would miss North Twin Mountain and I was going to have none of that! However, adding North Twin Mountain to this route would add another 750 vertical feet (230m) to a hike that was already going to climb 3400 vertical feet (1040m). During this summer I made it a point to gradually increase the amount of vertical from one hike to the next to see how my knee would handle it. I did not deem it prudent to just jump from my previous 2700 foot (820m) hike up Mount Chocorua to a 4150 foot (1260m) hike here.
So I chose instead to go up South Twin via North Twin. The distance hiked would be similar to the Galehead route but this time it would include North Twin and I wanted to do both Twins. This looked like a reasonably short hike on the map because it only ascended 2950 feet (900m) to get to North Twin and the ridge between North and South Twin did not look that daunting. So I made up my mind to do this one next. But upon closer examination, I found that climbing 450 feet (140m) up South Twin and then 300 feet (90m) to reascend North Twin on the return trip would make this a 3700 foot (1130m) hike. Each segment on its own did not look like much but they have a way of adding up. I decided to do it anyway so I did.
After having climbed 3400 feet (1040m) to get to the top of South Twin I felt really good. Looking down and to the west I could see Galehead Mountain less than a mile away. It was so close that I could clearly see the details of the Galehead Hut. This made it very tempting to just go down the west side and bag another 4000 foot (1220m) summit. Looking to the south, the Bonds (Mount Guyot, West Bond, Mount Bond, Bondcliff) did not appear very far away even though they are in the core of the Pemigewasset Wilderness and are some of the most remote summits amongst all of the White Mountains. The ridges appeared to undulate very gently between South Twin and the Bonds. This made it tempting to just push further and bag an additional four (4) 4000-footers.
So I looked at the map and guidebook to assess the situation. Going to the summit of Galehead would turn my 11.2 mile (18.0 km), 3700 foot (1130m) hike into a 13.8 mile (22.2 km), 5150 foot (1570m) hike. If I were to choose instead to continue south to the Bonds, my hike would be 21.2 miles (34.1 km) and 6250 vertical feet (1900m). Even 3700 vertical feet (1130m) was already pushing the upper limit of what I was comfortable doing on this particular hike so I elected to stick with the old plan and just head back down now that I reached the summits I had intended to reach.
It has been 2 years since I had elected not to go beyond South Twin Mountain and, seeing how quickly my hiking season is coming to an end due to other travels, that wait will likely become 3 years before I get to those mountains that seemed so tantalizingly close on that hike. Looking back, I realize that I very possibly could have pulled off one of those hiking trip extensions. Since then I had gone on some bigger hikes than the Twins, including one where I covered approximately 18 miles (29 km) and climbed approximately 6900 vertical feet (2100m) in a single day (it was not originally planned that way, in case you were wondering). My knee did not bother me on any of them.
But hindsight is always 20/20 and nobody can predict the future. Nevertheless I do sometimes feel regret about playing it exceedingly safe that day, mostly because I wonder how it could take so long to get to something that I had come so close to getting to earlier. This is merely an example of the limitations of my humanity. We humans are not known for being patient. We want instant results. When things don't seem to go according to plan or when they appear delayed we assume that something has gone dreadfully wrong.
As it turns out, the Bonds could easily be done in a 2-day backpacking trip. A 3-day weekend would not be necessary. Even if it does not happen this year, it could very easily happen next year. If one were to approach from the north via the Gale River Trail, Galehead Mountain could easily be taken care of as well.
Let's follow this scenario. I could drive up from work on Friday evening to the Gail River Trailhead and sleep in my car there (sadly, the bunkhouse I used to stay at several years ago is no longer in operation). On Saturday morning I could head up the Gale River Trail and make my way to South Twin and then Mount Guyot. If I'm doing pretty well on time at that point I could head over to Zealand Mountain to bag another 4000-footer and then back to Guyot to continue on my way. At the Guyot Campsite I could set up camp. If it's still nice and early and if I'm still feeling pretty good I could continue south and summit West Bond, Mount Bond, and Bondcliff. That would be an excellent day of hiking, complete with some quality time spent in the Pemigewasset Wilderness!
If I don't get to either Zealand or to the Bonds on Saturday, or if I miss all 4 of those summits, I could start with the Bonds on Sunday morning instead. Zealand would be an on-the-spot decision, if it comes down to that, on the way back while on the summit of Guyot. Continuing north from Guyot I would go over south Twin again on the way to the Galehead Hut. From there I would do a quick up-and-back to reach the summit of Galehead Mountain and then I would continue west from the Galehead Hut on the Garfield Ridge Trail. When I get to the top of the Gale River Trail again I could see how I'm doing on time and how I'm feeling. If things are going really well I could continue west to Mount Garfield, then head down the Garfield Trail to its trailhead and then walk a little over a mile (~2 km) on the loop road to the Gale River Trailhead where my car would be parked. From there I would make my way down to Boston for a Sunday evening Mass.
In addition to South Twin, which I've already summitted, I would also get at least 5 additional 4000-footers. Incidentally they would be all 5 summits that I had considered when standing on the South Twin summit 2 years ago - Zealand, Guyot, West Bond, Bond, Bondcliff - and I would get them all on the same trip! If things go really well I might even be able to add another 2 to that list - Zealand and Garfield - making a total of seven (7) 4000-footers in addition to South Twin which I had already summitted earlier. Although it may not always seem that way, things do have a way of working out. And not only do they have a way of working out, but they have a way of working out quite beautifully.
Mark 8: 27-35
Monday, September 10, 2012
Big Bang - it's just a THEORY!
MIDWEST
When I was younger the question most people asked me when trying to get to know me was "what do you do for fun?" The key word, of course, is "trying" because they wanted to know what kinds of bars I go to, if any, or what kinds of clubs I go to, if any. Would it have killed them to just leave it as an open-ended question?
I always loved recreational activities but bars, and especially clubs, were not near the top of my list. I loved eating out at nice restaurants when in town but most of all I was into outdoor activity such as skiing, hiking, and paddling. I was one of those crunchy types who was pretty well versed in wilderness ethics but also had it in me to go on some epic ski runs down the mountain. The problem was that I was living in the midwest at the time so I was TOTALLY out of my element. I was merely dismissed as lame because these people are not familiar with the granola culture. So they saw me as what I was not, rather than what I was.
TELLURIDE
So I moved out to Telluride, Colorado. When I was there, I was living a good ski bum life. Now I had lived a pretty sheltered life up to that point and skiing was no different. I skied at Gore Mountain most of the time as a child growing up in upstate New York and because Gore is not in New England or Quebec, it's not one of the big name places that people have actually heard of. Although I now know that the terrain at Gore is at least as legit as, and sometimes better than, the terrain at the more glamorous eastern ski areas, I did not know that back then because my experience with the other ski areas was limited to very few, if any, ski days. It was just not enough to make a fair comparison because there was still the whole lingering novelty of having actually gone to some of those places that the other kids were constantly talking about.
So when I was in Telluride, I hated the question "where did you usually ski back east?" If I answered honestly by saying "Gore Mountain," the response was often "where?!" If someone is that unfamiliar with eastern skiing then they really should not even bother asking me where I used to ski back east. But anyway, I had many reasons for going out west to be a ski bum and one of them was to get away from my sheltered life and bury that too-humble past by going on a big ski trip that would trump all of the ski trips all those snobs I went to school with ever went on, including the "Vail crew" that all went as a group together in a very low-risk move on their part (please see http://reflections-on-the-water.blogspot.com/2012/03/establishment-wants-you-to-play-it-safe.html). Needless to say, I did not appreciate these people's attempts to force my past back into my life in the slightest, especially given that I was in the process of freeing myself from my past. Besides, just the fact that I was living in Telluride mainly for the purpose of engaging in outdoor activities should have spoken volumes about me but apparently it wasn't enough of a hint for these thick headed people.
BURLINGTON
After I felt satisfied about having sufficiently made up for some lost time while in Telluride, I went to Burlington, Vermont to finish my university studies at the University of Vermont (UVM). We all know that the drinking culture is big at most secular universities. However, Burlington is a small enough town so that university life dominates the town. If binge drinking does not happen to be a particular interest of yours then you probably have a low (a.k.a. NATURAL) tolerance and can't hold excessive amounts of alcohol all that well. This makes you a "lightweight" which is another way of labeling someone as "weak." It doesn't matter if there are other things you are good at.
I was into the music scene, more so than most people, but in this small town the only time my kind of music was relevant was when Godsmack, Adema, and Ill Nino came through town (dating myself, I know) - and that was really a freak thing. Everything else was either top 40, dance-pop (there was no good hip-hop anymore at that point so I refuse to call it hip-hop), or hippy-dippy stuff. Having the stamina to go on a big hike or the ability to ski a difficult trail (or off piste) was not something anyone talked about nor are they the sorts of things one would brag about anyway. So it all comes down to holding your alcohol. If you can't hold your alcohol it really just means that binge drinking does not happen to be a particular interest of yours but in this environment it makes you a "lightweight," "weak," or "goody-two-shoes."
Bear in mind that this is an environment where there's a widespread assumption that certain occasions mean that certain people WILL be drunk. Sadly, I'm not just referring to house parties or fraternity parties either - at least those would be understandable even if they're neither moral nor prudent. Some notable examples of certain other occasions include the Greek Games and the annual Greek Awards ceremony.
The Greek Games should represent friendly competition in events that have little or nothing to do with actual athletic ability and they are a chance to showcase Fraternity spirit (banners, colors, songs, chants, etc.) but some people turn it into a rowdy drinkfest complete with pre-gaming. The Interfraternity Council (IFC) expresses disapproval about this in the aftermath of the event every year. I mean, why should IFC even bother troubling themselves with the planning of the Greek Games, and all the stress and drama associated with such planning, if they could have just thrown a huge outdoor party instead? They certainly had their reasons for wanting to do the Greek Games every year but none of them are comfortable with individually going to their misbehaving colleagues in their respective chapters to tell them that excessive drinking before and during the Greek Games tarnishes the occasion. They would get ridiculed and the boneheads of their chapters are not going to listen anyway.
The annual Greek Awards ceremony should be a time to recognize and celebrate the achievements of chapters that have had exceptionally good programming in all aspects of Greek life, such as community service, new member education, social programming, etc. There are also individual awards given out to recognize various student leaders, of which the Greek community typically has many. But there is a widespread assumption that most people there will be drunk, and therefore most people picking up awards will be drunk. It's treated in conversation like it's a given and questioning that assumption would make one out to be "goody-two-shoes" or "too rigid." Don't get me wrong, this is a fun occasion too, complete with awards such as "most likely to get plastic surgery" and "most likely to get carded at age 40" but if you watch the ESPY awards or any entertainment awards show on television you can see that they rib one another at those ceremonies as well - and the vast majority of them are sober.
The problem with the UVM, and therefore the Burlington, social environment is that it was too alcohol centered. In a bigger city where there is still a lot of alcohol consumed per capita, at least it's not treated as the be all and end all. Why is it that in Burlington, the ability to hold alcohol is all that matters? Why not the music scene? Why not sports? Why not hobbies and interests? Why not outdoor stuff? (There are mountains right nearby!) The social diversity that can easily be found in a big city is severely lacking in a small town like Burlington. I knew I would be respected more as an individual in a region that's more densely populated so I knew I was going to move out of Burlington upon finishing my university studies.
MORE RECENT YEARS
In more recent years there has been one dominant question that people insist on asking when they are trying to get to know me. The key word, of course, is "trying." They want to know what I do for work. Would it really kill them to choose instead to ask me what I do for fun or what kinds of music I listen to? Better still, they should just chat with me or just observe me in conversation to get to know me without forcing contrived answers. My work does not define who I am as a person. It's just where I happened to land. Unfortunately, most people are very backward and pass judgment based upon what one does for work. Once they are told what someone does for work, it colors their perception of that person's character. Anything they learn about that other person afterward is merely interpreted in terms of their own prejudiced opinion about that person. In other words, they learn nothing further because they are closed-minded.
Because my work is in the sciences, all sorts of stereotypes and caricatures form in people's minds. They look a bit like the television show "Big Bang Theory," which is just shockingly bad and grossly exaggerated. NOBODY could be THAT inept! Curiously though, many people in my line of work or similar sorts of work seem to think such a portrayal is accurate and are content with perpetuating what is undeniably a very negative stereotype. A problem lies in their tendency to label themselves and the rest of the group as a whole. They just don't understand the concept of speaking for oneself rather than speaking for the entire group. Some will also do or say things that make their colleagues look bad, even when the colleagues do nothing to make themselves look bad. In the end, those who do not deserve to be labelled in such a dubious manner are made "guilty by association." Certain people really need to learn to market themselves or their group in ways that make them more appealing. Some lessons about the finer points of Fraternity recruitment would have been helpful.
Wait, did I mention that I don't like people trying to label me?
James 2: 1-5
When I was younger the question most people asked me when trying to get to know me was "what do you do for fun?" The key word, of course, is "trying" because they wanted to know what kinds of bars I go to, if any, or what kinds of clubs I go to, if any. Would it have killed them to just leave it as an open-ended question?
I always loved recreational activities but bars, and especially clubs, were not near the top of my list. I loved eating out at nice restaurants when in town but most of all I was into outdoor activity such as skiing, hiking, and paddling. I was one of those crunchy types who was pretty well versed in wilderness ethics but also had it in me to go on some epic ski runs down the mountain. The problem was that I was living in the midwest at the time so I was TOTALLY out of my element. I was merely dismissed as lame because these people are not familiar with the granola culture. So they saw me as what I was not, rather than what I was.
TELLURIDE
So I moved out to Telluride, Colorado. When I was there, I was living a good ski bum life. Now I had lived a pretty sheltered life up to that point and skiing was no different. I skied at Gore Mountain most of the time as a child growing up in upstate New York and because Gore is not in New England or Quebec, it's not one of the big name places that people have actually heard of. Although I now know that the terrain at Gore is at least as legit as, and sometimes better than, the terrain at the more glamorous eastern ski areas, I did not know that back then because my experience with the other ski areas was limited to very few, if any, ski days. It was just not enough to make a fair comparison because there was still the whole lingering novelty of having actually gone to some of those places that the other kids were constantly talking about.
So when I was in Telluride, I hated the question "where did you usually ski back east?" If I answered honestly by saying "Gore Mountain," the response was often "where?!" If someone is that unfamiliar with eastern skiing then they really should not even bother asking me where I used to ski back east. But anyway, I had many reasons for going out west to be a ski bum and one of them was to get away from my sheltered life and bury that too-humble past by going on a big ski trip that would trump all of the ski trips all those snobs I went to school with ever went on, including the "Vail crew" that all went as a group together in a very low-risk move on their part (please see http://reflections-on-the-water.blogspot.com/2012/03/establishment-wants-you-to-play-it-safe.html). Needless to say, I did not appreciate these people's attempts to force my past back into my life in the slightest, especially given that I was in the process of freeing myself from my past. Besides, just the fact that I was living in Telluride mainly for the purpose of engaging in outdoor activities should have spoken volumes about me but apparently it wasn't enough of a hint for these thick headed people.
BURLINGTON
After I felt satisfied about having sufficiently made up for some lost time while in Telluride, I went to Burlington, Vermont to finish my university studies at the University of Vermont (UVM). We all know that the drinking culture is big at most secular universities. However, Burlington is a small enough town so that university life dominates the town. If binge drinking does not happen to be a particular interest of yours then you probably have a low (a.k.a. NATURAL) tolerance and can't hold excessive amounts of alcohol all that well. This makes you a "lightweight" which is another way of labeling someone as "weak." It doesn't matter if there are other things you are good at.
I was into the music scene, more so than most people, but in this small town the only time my kind of music was relevant was when Godsmack, Adema, and Ill Nino came through town (dating myself, I know) - and that was really a freak thing. Everything else was either top 40, dance-pop (there was no good hip-hop anymore at that point so I refuse to call it hip-hop), or hippy-dippy stuff. Having the stamina to go on a big hike or the ability to ski a difficult trail (or off piste) was not something anyone talked about nor are they the sorts of things one would brag about anyway. So it all comes down to holding your alcohol. If you can't hold your alcohol it really just means that binge drinking does not happen to be a particular interest of yours but in this environment it makes you a "lightweight," "weak," or "goody-two-shoes."
Bear in mind that this is an environment where there's a widespread assumption that certain occasions mean that certain people WILL be drunk. Sadly, I'm not just referring to house parties or fraternity parties either - at least those would be understandable even if they're neither moral nor prudent. Some notable examples of certain other occasions include the Greek Games and the annual Greek Awards ceremony.
The Greek Games should represent friendly competition in events that have little or nothing to do with actual athletic ability and they are a chance to showcase Fraternity spirit (banners, colors, songs, chants, etc.) but some people turn it into a rowdy drinkfest complete with pre-gaming. The Interfraternity Council (IFC) expresses disapproval about this in the aftermath of the event every year. I mean, why should IFC even bother troubling themselves with the planning of the Greek Games, and all the stress and drama associated with such planning, if they could have just thrown a huge outdoor party instead? They certainly had their reasons for wanting to do the Greek Games every year but none of them are comfortable with individually going to their misbehaving colleagues in their respective chapters to tell them that excessive drinking before and during the Greek Games tarnishes the occasion. They would get ridiculed and the boneheads of their chapters are not going to listen anyway.
The annual Greek Awards ceremony should be a time to recognize and celebrate the achievements of chapters that have had exceptionally good programming in all aspects of Greek life, such as community service, new member education, social programming, etc. There are also individual awards given out to recognize various student leaders, of which the Greek community typically has many. But there is a widespread assumption that most people there will be drunk, and therefore most people picking up awards will be drunk. It's treated in conversation like it's a given and questioning that assumption would make one out to be "goody-two-shoes" or "too rigid." Don't get me wrong, this is a fun occasion too, complete with awards such as "most likely to get plastic surgery" and "most likely to get carded at age 40" but if you watch the ESPY awards or any entertainment awards show on television you can see that they rib one another at those ceremonies as well - and the vast majority of them are sober.
The problem with the UVM, and therefore the Burlington, social environment is that it was too alcohol centered. In a bigger city where there is still a lot of alcohol consumed per capita, at least it's not treated as the be all and end all. Why is it that in Burlington, the ability to hold alcohol is all that matters? Why not the music scene? Why not sports? Why not hobbies and interests? Why not outdoor stuff? (There are mountains right nearby!) The social diversity that can easily be found in a big city is severely lacking in a small town like Burlington. I knew I would be respected more as an individual in a region that's more densely populated so I knew I was going to move out of Burlington upon finishing my university studies.
MORE RECENT YEARS
In more recent years there has been one dominant question that people insist on asking when they are trying to get to know me. The key word, of course, is "trying." They want to know what I do for work. Would it really kill them to choose instead to ask me what I do for fun or what kinds of music I listen to? Better still, they should just chat with me or just observe me in conversation to get to know me without forcing contrived answers. My work does not define who I am as a person. It's just where I happened to land. Unfortunately, most people are very backward and pass judgment based upon what one does for work. Once they are told what someone does for work, it colors their perception of that person's character. Anything they learn about that other person afterward is merely interpreted in terms of their own prejudiced opinion about that person. In other words, they learn nothing further because they are closed-minded.
Because my work is in the sciences, all sorts of stereotypes and caricatures form in people's minds. They look a bit like the television show "Big Bang Theory," which is just shockingly bad and grossly exaggerated. NOBODY could be THAT inept! Curiously though, many people in my line of work or similar sorts of work seem to think such a portrayal is accurate and are content with perpetuating what is undeniably a very negative stereotype. A problem lies in their tendency to label themselves and the rest of the group as a whole. They just don't understand the concept of speaking for oneself rather than speaking for the entire group. Some will also do or say things that make their colleagues look bad, even when the colleagues do nothing to make themselves look bad. In the end, those who do not deserve to be labelled in such a dubious manner are made "guilty by association." Certain people really need to learn to market themselves or their group in ways that make them more appealing. Some lessons about the finer points of Fraternity recruitment would have been helpful.
Wait, did I mention that I don't like people trying to label me?
James 2: 1-5
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