One Man is No Man

A few weeks ago I went to a Phi Delta Theta Fraternity Convention.  Although it has its official reasons for convening regularly, it is also a chance to meet other like-minded guys who really want to do something good for the Fraternity.  When one goes as an undergraduate or as a very recent alumnus, I would be neither by the way, it is easy to get all fired up, inspired, and motivated to go back to your chapter or locale and really make things happen.  But then one gets back to where they came from only to find that they are all alone in their great ambition.  Nobody else from their chapter or locale was at Convention.  For the rest it was just the same old routine, as usual.  Some places might have a few guys at Convention but not very many and they would be the exception rather than the rule anyway.  In other words, the population at one of these Conventions is very skewed.

As someone who's pretty solidly a member of the alumni ranks these days, I fully understand that most people in my locale are not all that excited about fellowship with their Brother Phis.  They are not going to be like the super-skewed population that one finds at Convention.  It's much like being a very enthusiastic undergraduate amongst a majority of people who are more interested in "what's in it for me?"  The alumni population is generally more interested in networking than in fellowship.  People really do not change much with age.

If you're trying to start a local alumni club, trying to be a good Chapter Advisory Board member according to the Fraternity's standards and expectations, or trying to implement or revamp a program in your undergraduate chapter, it can seem overwhelming if you feel like you're alone in this effort.  What you have to offer just does not seem like nearly enough.  Our Fraternity's open motto is "One Man is No Man."  It means "we enjoy life by the help and society of others."  You don't need to win over the majority of people in your chapter or locale or even a very large number of them.  You only need a few hands to help you along.  It is amazing what you can accomplish if you just do your small part and a few other people do the same.  Suddenly things no longer seem so overwhelming.  What little you have to offer actually gets a lot done, just as long as you offer it.  Robert Morrison, one of our founders, said "To do what ought to be done but would not have been done unless I did it, I thought to be my duty."

John 6: 1-15

High-maintenance

Friends happen.  You don't always pick them.  Sometimes, however, these friendships that were not by choice end up being the closest and most intimate friendships.  They could also be the most involved and labor intensive.  You could put a lot into it, you could bend over backwards to accommodate your friend, you could try to compensate for your friend's shortcomings, but still find that it never gets easier - much like a thankless job.  Some people are just high-maintenance while others are erratic and unpredictable.  After all, these are the friends we did not consciously choose but nevertheless ended up with because of family connections, an affinity group, common interests, a chance encounter, etc.  Given that you did not voluntarily choose them, it is not all that surprising when these people come with a whole host of issues that you end up having to help them through.

Most people are apt to give it up after putting in a lot of work only to have it go seemingly unnoticed and unappreciated time and time again.  Others will just keep soldiering forth and will continue to tolerate the difficult and burdensome ways of their involuntary friend.  In other words, they will treat this person like family - someone you stick with no matter what just because you deem it to be the right thing to do.  Sticking with this kind of friend could seem like an unnecessary burden so it is certainly understandable that most people would just make a clean break and move on.  But those that stick with such a difficult friend are likely to consider this: "as hard as it is for me, how much harder would it be for them if I were not there for them to share the burden they did not choose but were given anyway?" 

Mark 6: 30-34

Paul is NOT dead

Every once in a while I go down to Brighton on a Saturday morning to meet with a small group of friends from Church.  This little group is called "yHope," which stands for "Young Heralds of Pauline Evangelization."  We can all agree on what we do when we meet.  Mass, Adoration, Praise & Worship, Discussion - typically 2 or 3 of the 4 on any given Saturday.  But if one were to ask what our mission or purpose was, no two people would give the same answer.

Since this is my blog I will provide my answer.  Our purpose is to evangelize - Pauline style.  And we are young.  Saint Paul was a living witness of the Faith to many people who had no prior exposure to it.  He spent time in each place he visited to familiarize himself with the people and the culture and then taught them the faith in a way that they could most easily relate to.  In other words, he met them halfway.  This is what I generally try to do with this blog.  It is geared toward an audience that may not be all that familiar with all the fancy, snazzy, intellectual psychobabble you hear or read sometimes from the more academically inclined.

When the original Twelve apostles were sent out "two by two" to proclaim the Kingdom of God (3rd Luminous Mystery of the Rosary, by the way), they had little or no formal training.  They never went to seminary, they never did formal spiritual exercises, they never read books from authors whose names are nearly impossible to pronounce, they did not use big and fancy words or phrases.  They just received the Word of God and then passed it along.  Saint Paul took this proclamation a step further and brought it to foreign lands.

Evangelizing is not just teaching or speaking.  Most of it is just living your life as a witness to the Faith.  As the saying goes, "always preach the Gospel, if necessary use words."  So what do a Weekday Mass, Adoration, Praise & Worship, and Discussion have to do with evangelization?  They make us strong and they reinforce our foundation such that the source of what we proclaim is always legit.  Well, doesn't Sunday Mass do the job?  It does but there's more.  A Saturday morning at yHope is like a snack between meals if you're engaged in a lot of physical activity.  It keeps you going.  Saturdays at yHope provide what we need to carry out our mission and serve our purpose which is to evangelize to the masses by being living examples of the Faith.

Mark 6: 7-13

The undead

Many years ago while I was in the waiting room at a doctor's office, I was watching what was on the television.  Well, usually when one goes to the doctor's office it's during the middle of a weekday which means there's a good chance that a daytime soap opera will be on.  Sure enough, I followed a story about a young woman who was in an open casket during a wake and many family members and friends came to pay their respects, but there was one big problem - she was not dead.  Every so often there would be a voice that sounded like the young woman's inner thoughts pleading for someone to listen carefully and notice that she is not really dead.  The only one who came and stayed close enough for a long enough time to hear the young woman was a sinister older woman who had apparently cast a spell on the young woman to make her appear dead.  The evil woman only came by for the purpose of talking to the young woman to tell her "you're going down!" or something to that effect.  Eventually the casket closed as the young woman screamed - but only in her own inner thoughts.

Ever since then I've sometimes had uncertain feelings when attending the wake of a family member.  I would wonder if I would be able to hear the person whisper, see them blink, or receive a thought that they beam toward me or something.  When it's a relative I'm particularly close to I would have a fleeting thought that I ought to make sure I do not allow a living person who just appears dead to get buried.  Even when I'm pretty sure that they're really not alive, I would wonder if maybe some sort of miracle will happen if I am attentive.  So I would keep going back to the casket, not really wanting to believe that they're gone - but just asleep.

To be fair, a lot of my reason for revisiting the open casket is not as much my refusal to believe that a beloved family member really is gone as it is my desire and duty to pay them the respect they deserve.  Wakes do tend to devolve into social hours and during some moments it seems as if nobody is paying attention to the person in the casket.  If it's a close relative, I see to it that they get attention.

Nevertheless, the refusal to believe that a close family member really is gone is quite natural.  It is a refusal to give up hope.  If the person is still dying, it could be the hope that they can be saved.  If the person passed away, it could be the hope that the person is not really gone.  If we accept that the person really is gone, it could be the hope that we will meet them again where there is rest.  Our love is what drives our hope.

Mark 5: 21-43