The undead

Many years ago while I was in the waiting room at a doctor's office, I was watching what was on the television.  Well, usually when one goes to the doctor's office it's during the middle of a weekday which means there's a good chance that a daytime soap opera will be on.  Sure enough, I followed a story about a young woman who was in an open casket during a wake and many family members and friends came to pay their respects, but there was one big problem - she was not dead.  Every so often there would be a voice that sounded like the young woman's inner thoughts pleading for someone to listen carefully and notice that she is not really dead.  The only one who came and stayed close enough for a long enough time to hear the young woman was a sinister older woman who had apparently cast a spell on the young woman to make her appear dead.  The evil woman only came by for the purpose of talking to the young woman to tell her "you're going down!" or something to that effect.  Eventually the casket closed as the young woman screamed - but only in her own inner thoughts.

Ever since then I've sometimes had uncertain feelings when attending the wake of a family member.  I would wonder if I would be able to hear the person whisper, see them blink, or receive a thought that they beam toward me or something.  When it's a relative I'm particularly close to I would have a fleeting thought that I ought to make sure I do not allow a living person who just appears dead to get buried.  Even when I'm pretty sure that they're really not alive, I would wonder if maybe some sort of miracle will happen if I am attentive.  So I would keep going back to the casket, not really wanting to believe that they're gone - but just asleep.

To be fair, a lot of my reason for revisiting the open casket is not as much my refusal to believe that a beloved family member really is gone as it is my desire and duty to pay them the respect they deserve.  Wakes do tend to devolve into social hours and during some moments it seems as if nobody is paying attention to the person in the casket.  If it's a close relative, I see to it that they get attention.

Nevertheless, the refusal to believe that a close family member really is gone is quite natural.  It is a refusal to give up hope.  If the person is still dying, it could be the hope that they can be saved.  If the person passed away, it could be the hope that the person is not really gone.  If we accept that the person really is gone, it could be the hope that we will meet them again where there is rest.  Our love is what drives our hope.

Mark 5: 21-43