During the past couple of weeks I have been planning my big ski trip for the season. In recent years I have been more interested in multi-day, hut-to-hut, backcountry ski tours than in vacations to destination ski resorts. Besides, these tours generally begin and end near destination resorts anyway. The Chamonix-Zermatt Haute Route comes to mind. Those that don't begin and end near resorts tend to have their home base at a resort. For example, the Tour de Soleil in Switzerland's eastern Valais does not begin or end at a ski resort but the base of operations for this tour is in Andermatt in the nearby Canton of Uri. In other words, if I wanted to get a dose of resort skiing, I could easily get it in addition to whatever tour I choose to go on.
The act of choosing is a task in and of itself because I would like to go on a vast majority of tours offered by any one given tour company. And then there are tours provided by some companies but not others. In other words, there is a STAGGERING number of scheduled tours one could go on. However, just like any ski trip, going on a tour will cost a bit of money. Furthermore, that kind of travel tends to use up a lot of work holidays. Where I am from in the United States, we tend to have a relative shortage of work holidays compared to most other 1st world countries. Therefore, I do not expect to go on more than one tour of this sort per year.
Needless to say, going on every tour I would like to go on would be a project that could take several years, if not decades. Although I am single now I am nevertheless aware of the fact that this sort of activity is not very compatible with raising a family. When one has children, one's world becomes smaller. Travel becomes less exotic and more ordinary. Priorities change, and rightly so.
But even before that, marriage could change things as well. Decisions about certain matters, particularly vacations, are made together, not independently. One's life is not entirely one's own when one is married. Compromises sometimes have to be made and that would get in the way of doing what one would like to do in a timely manner. A celibate vocation would be difficult as well, given the matter regarding the vow of poverty, not to mention other duties typically associated with such a vocation. A $3000+ vacation that takes nearly 2 weeks may not be so feasible or well-regarded. One's life is not one's own when living any kind of celibate vocation. Compromises sometimes have to be made and that would get in the way of doing what one would like to do in a timely manner.
Finding a vocation, whether married or celibate, is not about having a list of lifestyle-related expectations and seeing who or what fits them the best. It's about making oneself the right kind of person for whoever or whatever one is destined for. It's not about selfishly imposing one's will upon one's vocation and treating it like a decoration or status symbol. It's about humbly putting others' needs before one's own wants. It's about being willing to let go.
Being married or celibate is generally considered to be more desirable than being perpetually single. But the more desirable vocations come at a price. One has to be willing to make compromises. The only vocation that comes with seemingly endless flexibility and very few strings attached is being single. But that also has considerably less reward and generally gets less respect.
In my case, I should also consider the fact that each tour I've gone on was my first choice tour among those that still remained. So if I've already done the tours I most wanted, the decision should be easy then, right? Not quite. Although the tours that remain do not seem quite as appealing as the tours I've already done, they are still WAY "cooler" than any family-friendly vacation or anything within the budget or time constraints associated with a celibate vocation. So the question is, am I willing to lose a good deal of my independent and adventurous spirit for the sake of gaining a rightful place in my life and getting out of this unsettled transitional state known as singlehood? No sacrifice means no reward...
Mark 10: 17-27
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