The New Kid

I am a fairly recent convert to the Faith.  Sure, it was several years ago and a lot can, and has, changed during those years.  But in spite of that, I still feel like the “new kid.”  I have come to accept that this feeling that I’m different from cradle Catholics or even from my fellow converts is not going to go away, ever.

You may notice that some of the titles I’ve had for my posts these past few weeks could seem a bit over-the-top.  But that is the sort of thing I relate to and what other like-minded people (the few there are) could relate to.  Perhaps, as a search term, at least one of these titles may catch the attention of someone who is secular and is in a similarly turbulent state of mind as I was once in.

I am different because my memories are different.  My interest in music, movies, and other forms of media were different because I simply had different priorities.  As a result, the sorts of things that interested me back then may not have always been very wholesome.

Nowadays I see it as my mission to do the Father’s will.  Sure, I still listen to some of the music I listened to back in the day but I listen with a great deal more discernment now than I did then.  Although the contemporary music I listen to is generally more pleasing to God than the older music I listen(ed) to, it still often has an edge to it that is somber, sometimes aggressive, and occasionally bleak.

Doing the Father’s will is not about projecting this good and wholesome apple pie image that’s all jingly and sing-songy.  Sure, that could be a good thing too as long as it’s real but for me it would not be.  The son who was all talk projected that happy image initially but in his case it regressed into a shattered illusion.

Outward appearances in the beginning are not as relevant as our intent in the end.  My intent is to use my past experience as an asset in my effort to reach out to others and witness to them in ways they can relate to, either by example or with words.  Where they are now is where I was just a short while ago.

Matthew 21: 28-32