Looking back at my own life is like taking a trip down memory lane. Some of the memories are those I would be tempted to do just about anything to relive if I could. Summer camp comes to mind. So does children's choir. So do some memories from my school days, especially the early ones. Of course, during those times I did not see it that way. Not only did I take those moments for granted, which is forgivable since we can't see into the future, but I was actually dissatisfied with my life for much of that time. I was always looking forward in anticipation of my life getting "better."
In summer camp I was looking forward to the days I would no longer have to be a lowly camper and would get to be one of the cool counselors. In children's choir I was looking forward to the time I would stop singing soprano and start making my way down to mezzo-soprano, then alto, and then onto bigger and better things. As a child during my carefree days hanging out with my neighborhood friends, I was always looking forward to the days we all got to be older and cooler like our babysitters from around the neighborhood. With a number of brother-sister sibling pairs amongst the neighborhood's big kids, there actually were quite a few male babysitters, believe it or not - and I wanted to become just like them. It's too bad that it's just about impossible to relive the summer camp years, or children's choir, or the carefree days of hanging out in the old neighborhood.
And it goes on. Many years later I found myself out in Cleveland, Ohio and hated the fact that I was so far from the mountains. It was just a matter of circumstance that I ended up there in the first place. I was also a bit disillusioned with everything else about my life at that time so naturally I made plans to go out west, be a ski bum, blow off some steam, and see where I go from there. I lived my life in Cleveland like someone in transition to bigger and better things on the horizon. I did not think much about my time there, just treated it like an inconvenient stopover.
I moved on to Telluride, Colorado with an excited feeling of anticipation. At first it seemed unreal that I really just packed all my belongings into my car, moved out of my place in Cleveland, and drove out west to get an apartment after having just made a few phone calls. When I was there, the first few days still seemed unreal. But eventually the novelty of living nearly 3000 m (10,000 ft) high in a super-remote mountain town wore off. Sure there were bigger mountains nearby than back east and the unfamiliar territory seemed like the perfect cure to my sheltered earlier life. But some things I missed about the east were the presence of large and beautiful natural lakes as well as the fact that everything is green back east. I even missed my life in Cleveland - the presence of the neighborhood corner store as well as bars and restaurants that are easy to get to. Concerts, and good radio stations, were easy to come by as well. Nevermind the fact that Cleveland had a feeling of community that Telluride lacked.
Needless to say, I had no qualms about leaving Telluride after just slightly more than a year there. I moved back east and felt content. But then after some years passed, I looked back in retrospect and realized that the adventurous part of my life had effectively come to an abrupt end when I returned back east. At first I did not sense an end of any era, probably because I was too eager to leave Telluride to see its bright side. There was also the fact that during the first few years back east, all that adventure was still very recent so it did not feel like it was really over. But later on I realized that the 6 times I crossed North America all occurred during a period of only 3 years, ending with my time in Telluride. Sometimes I do wish I appreciated my time there more than I did, especially when I see something that brings me back to that time, like a big blast from the past or an awesome day of out-of-bounds tree skiing.
The rest of the world will have you believe that your life is not good enough at the moment. So instead of enjoying the moment and living in the moment, we try to fast forward through it and move on to something "better." This is especially the case during those times we feel as if our lives are either getting nowhere or passing us by. The truth is, if we trust in God's plan, we are exactly where we ought to be in life at any given time. The only thing that matters is where we end up. It does not matter how fast we get there, how smoothly things go, or how normal of a path we take. If we hit a few rough patches, we're still on course. There's no such thing as an inconvenient stopover in life. With that peace of mind, we can stop worrying about where we are in life at the moment and simply enjoy the moment for what it is while it's still there for us to enjoy. After all, life's a journey, not a destination.
Luke 16: 19-31
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